Wolves Don't Cry Read online

  Standing, Jace wondered if he should take the SUV to track Tala or do it the old-fashioned way, on foot. Four feet any way. He was a better tracker as a lycan. Besides he didn't know the city streets, so finding Tala through the network of roadways with a vehicle would be next to impossible.

  After another quick glance around the area, Jace unbuttoned his pants and let them slide to the ground. He kicked out of them, took off his socks, his shoes and tore off the remaining remnants of his bloody shirt. He shoved the shoes, socks and bloody shirt into his pant leg, then tied up one end. The other end he looped around his neck and fastened it on. When he shifted, at least he'd have his clothes and phone with him still.

  Glancing around once more to make sure there were no curious eyes watching him, Jace went down on all fours and forced the shift through his body. Pain tore through him as bones and muscles grew and shifted positions. A scream tore from his throat as hair, talons and teeth pushed through his flesh like iron nails hammered through a wooden board.

  When he was done, sweat slicked his entire body, but he shook it off as if just coming from a bath. Once the pain receded enough to concentrate, Jace raised his muzzle in the air and scented the air. Within seconds he had Tala's trail. After a final quiver from toe to tail, he took off across the parking lot in pursuit of his quarry.

  A woman he was starting to believe might be his one true mate.

  Jace tried to stay to the shadows and alleyways as he tracked Tala through the city. It was full daylight now and the citizens of San Antonio were wide awake. In some instances she made that impossible when she barreled across busy streets, seemingly unaware as vehicles came to screeching halts to avoid hitting her. He tried to find alternate, less conspicuous, routes to take around the busy streets, but sometimes there was just no other way.

  He could just imagine the news reports flashing on TV later today. Large wolves spotted in the city. Keep your children indoors.

  It also didn't help that the teenager would be found with claw marks on his body. Jace had sympathy for the poor animals in that area that the city would put down due to this incident.

  After a half hour of running across the city, Tala seemed to slow. Her scent came to him on the warm Texas breeze. It was full of anguish and confusion. But also of familiarity.

  She was heading home.

  It would have been instinctive for her to flee to some place safe and secure. He just hoped her neighbors weren't home as the half-wolf half-human woman bounded up the steps to her door. In this state, Tala wouldn't be able to keep her secret for much longer.

  He stayed back and watched as she crept along the quiet street of a clean older neighborhood. Hiding behind an azalea bush, Jace watched as she bounded across the road and collapsed onto the lawn of a small bungalow. He could see the heaving of her chest and the spasms in her hind legs. She was trying to shift back.

  Crouching onto his belly, Jace closed his eyes and willed the change to come. Within minutes he was back in human form, his slick naked form shaking violently. Taking off his wreath of clothes from around his neck, he slid into his pants, socks and shoes, shoved his ruined shirt into his pants pocket and ran across the street to aid Tala.

  When he got there, she was convulsing. Crouching next to her, he put his hand on her forehead and one of her stomach to hold her down. Closing his eyes, he sent waves of healing power into his hands. He hoped it would be enough.

  If she couldn't shift back, she'd remain in half form forever. And her mind would be lost. He'd seen it before in his pack. The young woman had ended up committing suicide.

  He wouldn't let that happen to Tala. Not when he had just found her and connected to her.

  Finally the heat of his power coursing through the palms of his hands quieted her spasms. Breathing heavily, she blinked up at him, agony bringing tears to her eyes. She was still half formed.

  "You need to force the shift back, Tala. It's the only way."

  She shook her head, tears streaking down her temples to drip onto the grass. "I can't." Her voice was muffled by her overgrown fangs.

  "You can. You're a strong woman. Dig deep inside, you'll find the power to do it."

  Shutting her eyes, Tala tensed all the muscles in her body. He could feel them bunch and quiver under his hands.

  "That's it, Tala. You're doing it."

  Mesmerized and awed, he watched as her feet shrank, the talons on her toes disappearing into themselves. The coarse auburn hair on the back of her hands receded into her pores. She was almost there. She just had her face to shift back. It always proved to be the hardest part. It was the place where the shift started.

  Grunting in pain, Tala started to quiver again. Her teeth had started to shrink but then something had stopped it. Her eyes sprang open and he could see the panic and terror in them.

  She grabbed onto his arms and sobbed. "It hurts too much. I can't do it. I feel sick."

  "It's alright. Just let it happen. You're almost there." Jace set both his hands on her cheeks. "Feel the heat from my hands. Concentrate on that."

  He was no healer like Lyra with her spells, charms and incantations. But lycans had the power to mend their own. If connected on a spiritual level, lycan to lycan had the possibility to heal many wounds.

  He sensed a beginning of that type of bond with Tala.

  Calming again, Tala shut her eyes but she didn't relinquish her hold on his arms. If linking them together aided her shift, he would gladly touch her wherever she wanted.

  After a few more tense minutes, her jaw finally receded and her teeth slid back into her gums. With one last gasp, Tala tensed and pushed everything back to normal. She opened her eyes, smiled at him, then promptly passed out from the exertion.

  Wiping the sweaty strands of hair from her brow, Jace pressed his lips to the tip of her nose. "You did good, little wolf."

  He slid his arm under her shoulders and under her knees and picked her up. Walking up the three steps to her front door, he kicked it open and carried her through.

  He'd fix the door later, but right now, Tala needed to sleep. And he needed to think. Everything had changed. Tala was not the human woman he thought she was. She was Other, like him. Now, he had no wall keeping back his feelings. And that was the thing that scared him the most.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Blood. The smell of it nearly made Tala gag. It was everywhere. All around her. Splashed on every inch of her naked flesh.

  She lifted her crimson-stained hands up to her face and started to lick them clean.

  Tala bolted up from her sleep. Panic suffocated her and she clawed at her mattress. Her bed sheets were tangled around her arms and legs, and she felt smothered. Ripping the cotton away from her body, she finally collapsed back on the bed naked and sweating.

  She glanced around her room, confused and disoriented. How did she get home? Hadn't she been at a crime scene?

  Then it came crashing down on her like a two-ton weight.

  The vacant lot. The teenagers. And the blood.

  "Oh God," she wailed. Her stomach roiled in utter revulsion. Groping her way to the side of the bed, she scrambled off the bed and rushed into her bathroom. She grabbed the bottle of mouthwash on the counter and poured some in her mouth. After swishing she spat it into the sink. Slamming open the medicine cabinet, she rooted around for her drops. They weren't there.

  Panic surged over her and she dropped to the floor and scoured the drawers and cupboard under the sink. Still nothing. Where did she last put them?

  "Looking for this?"

  Swirling around, Tala saw Jace standing in the doorway, her plastic bottle of eye drops captured between his fingers.

  She reached for him. "Give it to me."

  He danced out of her way. "How long have you been using this?"

  Unconcerned that she was still naked, she stood and rushed him, trying to pry the bottle from his fingers. He was too strong, and she was much too weak. Dejected, Tala pushed away and rushed into her living ro
om. Maybe she had drops in her purse still.

  "How long, Tala?"

  She ignored him as she searched for her purse. She found it underneath her coffee table. Unzipping it, she dumped the contents onto the table and searched through it.

  "I took the one from there too."

  Closing her eyes and clamping down on her urge to scream, Tala sunk back into the fluffy pillows of her sofa. She let her purse fall from her lap. "You have no right."

  Shivering, she finally realized that she was naked. She wrapped her arms around her chest, suddenly very aware that she was exposed and Jace had seen her.

  Jace came around the sofa, handed her a robe and sat on the edge of her coffee table near her. "It’s silver nitrate, isn't it?"

  She glared at him, but took the offered robe and wrapped it around her body. "You have no idea what I have suffered."

  She saw the twitch at his jaw and thought he would protest, but he remained quiet and watchful allowing her to make her case. She didn't like the way he looked at her, his eyes full of disappointment and scorn. That was exactly the same look her mother gave her the day Tala discovered her...condition. Mutation her mother had called it.

  "You look at me like we're the same. That we're kindred spirits." She bit out the words between clenched teeth. "But we're not. I had the chance to be human. Do you understand that? My mother is human. And because of her rape I was conceived."

  "She was raped by a lycan?" he asked, his voice quiet, careful.

  Tala nodded, tears now streaming down her face. "She never told me the entire truth. Just that my father left her when he found out she was pregnant. Not until the night...the night I turned thirteen and started to change. Then she told me the awful truth." Swallowing down the urge to sob, Tala continued, "It was then that I learned what a freak I was. And my mother told me of a way to keep that side of me controlled."

  "A freak?" Jace exploded off the table in a fury. She winced at the unrestrained violence of it.

  He began to pace in front of her. "You are not a freak, Tala. Oh my God, woman, do you have any idea how beautiful and special and unique you are?"

  He thought her beautiful? Even after seeing her half formed and grotesque?

  "I'm sorry for what happened to your mother, Tala. I'm sure it was horrific and terrible, but that doesn't make you those things. You can't condemn yourself for something that happened to your mother."

  Tala shook her head. "Can you imagine what it was like for her when I was born? To look at me and know that I carried his genetic material, too. That possibly one day I might grow fur, fangs, and howl at the moon."

  "That still doesn't give her the right to make you believe that you're a freak. You should have been nurtured and supported because of your differences and not been forced to poison yourself in shame of them."

  She pushed to her feet and rounded on Jace. "She did the best she could for me."

  "I'm sorry, but it wasn't good enough."

  Anger rippled through her. Anger and sorrow and guilt. Thoughts she didn't even realize she harbored popped to the surface in a fury of emotion. Raising her hand, she slapped Jace across the face.

  "How dare you? You know nothing about me or my situation. You have no idea what my mother suffered or what I've suffered." She pushed him hard sending him stumbling back a few steps. "Get out! Get out of my house and get out of my life! You have no business being here!" She went to push him again, but this time he caught her wrist keeping the flat of her palm pressed against his chest. She could feel his heart racing.

  It felt so much like her own.

  She didn't want to feel a connection to him. But she did. It hummed between them like an electrical current.

  "I was raised in a circus. In a freak show," he said, his voice deep and icy cold. "When I was nine, my parents, in wolf form, were killed by hunters and I was left to fend for myself."

  "Jace, I."

  He shook his head stopping her next words. "Let me finish." He took a deep breath and continued, "I started my shift early so after they died I remained in wolf form most of the time. I even found a real wolf family that tolerated me, enough that I didn't go hungry. But they, too, were killed and I was captured. And when my secret was revealed I was sold to a circus."

  Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. She could feel Jace's agony pounding her as he told his story. In his eyes she saw the cold hard truth of his tragic life. He had suffered more than she could ever imagine.

  "I'm so sorry."

  Tala tried to pull away from his touch. She didn't want to know anymore. Feel anymore. His pain was too much. Somehow during the recounting of his tragic tale, they had become linked. Irrevocably bound. The connection thumped and beat like a pulse. As if it was alive and had a mind of its own.

  She didn't want to feel any empathy. Because it forced her to face the truth of her own life. And the shame she had harbored for so long. That had always been her wall, her protection from others. She didn't want anyone to get to know her, to become too close.

  But now Jace was smashing down those walls. And she didn't want to see the person standing behind them. The person she truly was. Because those barriers had also been protecting her from herself.

  He held her wrist tightly with one hand, and covered her hand with his other. "I know what suffering is, Tala. I know what it feels like to be ashamed of who you are. But after seven years of torment and despair, I found my way out of servitude and I survived. You can, too."

  Did she want a way out? Did she want to finally embrace that part of her that she struggled so hard to keep locked up? Was she ready for what came with it? The ridicule, the prejudice and the fear.

  And ultimately her mother's disappointment.

  Shaking her head, she said, "I don't want to be lycan. I don't want to be different."

  "But you are, Tala. You are so much more than human. Can't you understand that?" Letting her hand go, he cupped her cheek with his hand and stared deep into her eyes. "Are lycans really all that repulsive? Do I repulse you?"

  She wanted to say yes to prove her point. But she couldn't utter the words. Jace was the exact opposite of repulsive to her. He was beautiful, and sensual, and she wanted him on so many levels it was impossible to understand them all.

  She shook her head, not able to lie to him while he stood so close to her. The heat of his body enveloped her, soothing her from head to toe.

  "Then why would you think that you are?" He rubbed a thumb over her bottom lip. "You are more radiant to me than any human."

  The connection between them spiked as if an energy flow had rushed through the wires. She nearly gasped from the intensity of it. Liquid heat pooled between her legs.

  Panicked by the pure explosiveness of the sensations coursing through her body, Tala retreated backwards pulling away from his touch. But he wasn't going to make it easy on her. Surely, she had expected nothing less from this stubborn man.

  For every step she took back, he took a step forward. By the time she backed up into the wall, they had danced across her living room to the doorway of her bedroom. A very dangerous place to be considering the desire flowing through her like a wild fire.

  "Stop running, Tala. You don't have to be afraid of what you are."

  "I could've killed those kids," she breathed, her voice so low it nearly stuck in her throat.

  "But you didn't. You kept your head. However tenuous it seemed, you did control your beast." He raised his hand and touched her again, but this time it was a light brush on her neck and over her shoulder as if searching for a way into her soul. "With my help you'll keep control. You can learn how to shift back and forth. There are so many cool things about being a lycan. I can show you all of them."

  "Like what?"

  "You can use your heightened senses for crime scene work. I know you already use your nose." He grinned and tapped her on the tip of her nose. "You can even use it to find out if someone is lying to you." He trailed his hand down her arm to her wrist and encircled his
fingers around. "A person's pulse spikes when telling a lie. Even if that person thinks they can control it, it's not enough to keep me from feeling it."

  She tried to pull from his touch, but he held her there, staring into her eyes.

  "Are you aroused, Tala?"

  "No."

  His eyes flashed. "Liar." He squeezed her wrist tighter, drawing her to him. "Don't fight it, Tala. Together we can tame your beast."

  A quiver of hope vibrated inside her heart at the possibility of taming her lycan. Could she just let it out and discover with Jace what that truly meant? It seemed too good to be true. Nothing was ever that simple.

  She wanted to back away but she had nowhere to go. What Jace offered was tempting, but not something she was sure she could do. Not now. Not after living a lie for so long. Not when it was so much easier to continue to live that lie than to open up her heart and her soul, exposing herself completely.

  "I can't, Jace. I won't let it loose. It's too late for me."

  She saw the sadness in his eyes, but also the flare of something primal. It frightened her. But it also excited her. Deep down inside, that thing that bonded them flared, eager to explore, eager to be released. But would she survive the release?

  He took another step toward her, nearly pressing his body into hers. She shuddered as his scent filled her. He smelled of the earth and storm clouds and hot liquid sex.

  "Oh God," she whimpered. "You're too close. I can't breathe."

  Jace ran his palms down her arms and grabbed her hands. Lifting them, he set them on his shoulders, and breached the short distance between them, pressing his hard, hot flesh against her. "Let go, Tala. Don't be afraid of it." Leaning down, he brushed his lips over her temple, and whispered, "Let go, I'll catch you. I promise."

  Glancing down at his chest, Tala touched the wounds she'd inflicted. They were healing faster than humanly possible, but they still looked raw and painful. How could she live with herself knowing she could inflict this type of injury?